16. Jul. 2010. – 16:45:58
Some court stories are so amusing they are almost unbelievable. This is believable because I was told of it by a reliable source who has previously supplied accurate information. Last December at a Magistrates` Court in the West of England an addict called Jason who had managed to survive until the age of 36 on the usual druggie`s fare of hot pot of heroin and cocaine casserole decided on a change of diet and stole a frozen turkey from a supermarket attempting to evade payment by putting said late chilled bird down his trousers. Needless to say it`s a chill wind which blows nobody any good. Fined £50 + surcharge + costs he was deemed time served from his time on remand……one could say he went cold turkey….
And then there was the case of the Albanian who claimed that English food had changed the shape of his ears. Perhaps he will live long and prosper and then again perhaps he won`t. This might sound ridiculous but it`s true.
Now another case you just couldn`t make up……One of our fellow citizens whose lawyer mitigated by telling a southern Bench that although his client was an opiate dependant mechanic he usually managed to keep his habit under control especially when he was doing his work as a car mechanic…..seems he was the only one who`d come off the rails by failing in a sticky attempt to steal £40 worth of sweets from a local supermarket. Perhaps whilst he is on unconditional bail awaiting sentence he should endeavour to check if he should be insulin dependant……..
And then yesterday in the video remand court the last case listed was a gentleman charged with TWOC……taking a vehicle without consent in 1989!!!!!!! This was a late addition to our list and apparently after extensive enquiries the relevant authorities discovered that the suspect was serving life for murder somewhere in England. At the close of play the prison had confirmed his residency but it was too late to see justice done. Next week the CPS will inform him that “with his consent” the case will be dismissed…….I doubt he`ll offer any objections……..better late than never.
And then there was the case of the Albanian who claimed that English food had changed the shape of his ears. Perhaps he will live long and prosper and then again perhaps he won`t. This might sound ridiculous but it`s true.
Now another case you just couldn`t make up……One of our fellow citizens whose lawyer mitigated by telling a southern Bench that although his client was an opiate dependant mechanic he usually managed to keep his habit under control especially when he was doing his work as a car mechanic…..seems he was the only one who`d come off the rails by failing in a sticky attempt to steal £40 worth of sweets from a local supermarket. Perhaps whilst he is on unconditional bail awaiting sentence he should endeavour to check if he should be insulin dependant……..
And then yesterday in the video remand court the last case listed was a gentleman charged with TWOC……taking a vehicle without consent in 1989!!!!!!! This was a late addition to our list and apparently after extensive enquiries the relevant authorities discovered that the suspect was serving life for murder somewhere in England. At the close of play the prison had confirmed his residency but it was too late to see justice done. Next week the CPS will inform him that “with his consent” the case will be dismissed…….I doubt he`ll offer any objections……..better late than never.
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